I 'm in room 25 - SMS Adult

I 'm in room 25

In a lift, a man accidentally touched a lady's breast:

Man: If ur heart is as soft as ur breast, u'll forgive me.

Lady: If ur dick is as hard as ur elbow, i'm in room 25.

Kbhi baap nai bn sakay ga - SMS Adult

Kbhi baap nai bn sakay ga!

Talwaar baazi k mukaablay may ek Chinese nay baarik taar k do tukrray kr deay.

Japani nay us say b baarik taar k tukrray kr deay.

Pakistani nay machar urraya, talwaar ghumai or machar urrh gaya.

Judge: Machar tou urrh gaya.

Paki: Urrh tu gaya par kbhi baap nai bn sakay ga!

Oral Exams - SMS Adult

Oral Exams

School Girl: I do not want to go to the sex education class.

Teacher: Why not?

School Girl: because someone told me the final exam would be Oral.

Voltage Bahut Kam Hai - SMS Adult

Voltage Bahut Kam Hai

Fat Electrician: Bolo Priye Tumhe Kya Gam Hai!!

Wife : Swami Load Jyada Hai Aur Voltage Bahut Kam Hai!!

Remote 6 inch ka he hota hai - SMS Adult

Remote 6 inch ka he hota hai

Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen.

Girl: Ladka to theek hai but mota hai.

Mom: TV chahe 14" ka ho ya 29" ka remote 6" ka hi hota hai.

Love Bite - SMS Adult

Love Bite

A Man gets Love Bite From His Secretary. Worried he gets back home where his dog jumps over him.

Man Shrieks: Look what the dog did.. "it bit my neck"

Wife: Removes her blouse & says "Thats nothing Dear See what he did to my Breasts"

A Girl while Having - SMS Adult

A Girl while Having

A Girl while Having Sex for the First time to her Boyfriend:

Tumhari Bansuri to Bahut Chotti Hai!!

Boyfriend: Mujhe Kya Pata tha ki TOWN HALL Mai Bajani Padegi!!

Your Hair smells great - SMS Adult

Your Hair smells great

6 Feet girl to her boss: I'm being sexually harassed.
Boss: how?
Girl: This guy comes in every morning and says ur hair smells great.
Boss: Whats da problem in dat?
Girl: He is 3 feet tall

Stick with Crocin - SMS Adult

Stick with Crocin

Husband Climbs the Bed Naked

Wife: I have Fever!

Husband: I know sweetheart that's why I have powdered my Stick with Crocin.

Now tell me how you wish to take it "Orally or as Injection"

Software Hardware Antivirus - SMS Adult

Software Hardware Antivirus

Boy: Can I touch your Software

Girl: First show your Hardware

Boy: Should I install it in your System

Girl: Okay, but please put the Antivirus, then install it.

I get pregnant so often - SMS Adult

I get pregnant so often

One day, after having her 9th baby, lady ran to the doctor and said, Well, i dont know why i get pregnant so often, it must be something in the air.

Dr: Yes! your legs.

Boy Pulls His Nicker - SMS Adult

Boy Pulls His Nicker

Boy Pulls His Nicker Down & ask the Girl

Do you have This?

The Girl lifts her Skirt ups & says "My mom says if you have This than you can get Plenty of Those"!!!

Major Rohail ke Beti ka Rape - SMS Adult

Major Rohail ke Beti ka Rape

Major Rohai ke behan ka rape ho gya, Wo behoosh ho gae

Jb use hoosh aaya to wo zor zor se roone lagi

.

Police: Ro kyu rhi ho?

.

Nosheen: Badmash mera N78 le gaya.

Cell in shirts - SMS Adult

Cell in shirts

Y dont Women keep Cell in dere shirts pocket??
Coz dere is No range near Mountains...


&


Y do men keep Cell in dere Pants Pocket?
Coz dere is alwayz signal near Towers.

Middle lips - SMS Adult

Middle lips

Girl & Boy were having sex.

Girl: Darling, I want you to kiss my lips!

Boy: Sure, which 1 would you prefer first, lower lip or upper lip?

Girl: Middle lips, the ones right in the middle of my legs.

Ages 1986 - 2008 - SMS Adult

Ages 1986 - 2008

1968: Dulha jahez me TV mangta tha,

1978: Motor Cycle,

1988: Plot,

1998: AC & car,

2008: Dulha jahez me sirf ZERO meter dulhan mangta hy!

Husband & wife ne - SMS Adult

Husband & wife ne

Husband & wife ne Bachon ki waja se Night ka ishara rakha SANDWICH...

Husb: SANDWICH ka Mood Hy?

Wife: Nahi Aaj nahi, Aaj Subha Ketchup ki Theli Phat gai Hy.

What is Sex - SMS Adult

What is Sex

Son: Dad what is Sex?

Father got tensed but he explained everything.

SON: But dad how will I write all that in this small box of school admission form..?? :-)

100 logo se poocha gaya - SMS Adult

100 logo se poocha gaya

100 logo se poocha gaya k unko Larkiyon ka "BRAIZER" kis tarah ka pasand hai?

2% ne kaha "White"

1% ne kaha "Black"

97% ne kaha
.
.
"UTRA HUA"

Mezbaan Lahori - SMS Adult

Mezbaan Lahori

Sardar: Yaar Lahori bare zabardast mezban hain.
Taxi Hotel, Khana, Peena Yahan tak k sex b free tha.

Dost: Tu kb gaya tha?

Sardar: Main nhi, meri biwi ho kr aai hai.

Sardar Was Advising - SMS Adult

Sardar Was Advising

Sardar Was Advising His Son On

Dining Table,Oye Boti Kha Boti,Lully Waddi Hoe Gi ..!

Sardarni Intrupted:Sardar JI,

Tussi v Boti Shoti Kha Liya Karo.

Shikayat ka moqa - SMS Adult

Shikayat ka moqa

SHOHAR suhag rat k baad apni B'V se: Jaan raat ko kuch maza aya?

B'V: Aap ko aaya?

SHOHAR: bohat!

BV: Dekh lain aaj tak kisi ko shikayat ka moqa nahi dia.

Zero main 1 Dalen to - SMS Adult

Zero main 1 Dalen to

Lady Teacher: Zero main 1 Dalen to kya hota hai?
Girl: Chup rahi!

Teacher (Gussy se): Jawab do
Zero mai 1 Dalen to kya hota hai?

Girl: Miss Bht Dard hota hy.

BP check kiya - SMS Adult

BP check kiya

Nurse: Sir 22 no bed waley patient ka 4 dafa BP check kiya,
har dafa barh jata hai.

Doctor: Ab check kro to apni Shirt k uper k 3 button bnd kr lena.

Hairs on the head - SMS Adult

Hairs on the head

Question: Why do hairs on the head turn grey but pubic hair stays black wid passage of time...?


Answer: Uttay sochaan hee sochaan....tay thalle mojaan hee mojaan

Hsband mein defect - SMS Adult

Hsband mein defect

Lady: Peer jee mera bacha nahin hoo raha.

Peer jee: Tumhare husband mein defect hai.

Lady: Hsband mein defect ho ga poore mauhallay mein tyu nahin.

Girls ki feeling - SMS Adult

Girls ki feeling

Exam and sex k bad sari girls ki
feelngs same hoti hain!

1-kitna lamba tha na.

2-kaash kuch time aur mil jata

3-pehle kitna dar lag raha tha na,phir to pata hi nahi chala k kab hogaya.

4-ufff 3 ghante tak to meri saans hi band hogai thi.

5-Aagay ka to theek tha, peechay ka kitna mushkil tha na..

High expectations of a girl - SMS Adult

High expectations of a girl

Teacher asks Girl: Which part of Human body Expands 10 times its normal size?

Girl: I can’t answer this question, I feel shy!

Teacher asks same question to a boy:

Boy: Its the Pupil of Human Eye.

Teacher: Right!

Then turns to the girl: Listen girl your thinking is wrong and your expectations are too high.

Farhaad ki tarha - SMS Adult

Farhaad ki tarha

A girl to his boy friend...

Kia tum mere liye Farhaad ki tarha dhood ki nahrein nahi nikaal sakte?

Boy: Kyu nahi tum zara apne nippal mere hath me do.

Jaan Bujh kar - SMS Adult

Jaan Bujh kar

Sindhi: Hum education mai peechay hai.
Punjabi: Hum job mai peechay hai.
Balochi: Hum fashion mai peechay hai.
Pathan: Hum jaan bujh kar peechay hai.

Punjabi Bra Ad - SMS Adult

Punjabi Bra Ad

Punjabi Bra Ad:
Har kuri di phli psand PREETO BRA. Hun 6 sizan wich.

1. Nika
2. Darmiyana
3. Wada
4. Balle Balle Billo
5. Hai o Rabba
6. Oh Tadi Pehn Nu!

konsa samay Uchit hai - SMS Adult

konsa samay Uchit hai

Lady 2 Doctor: Sir Sex k liye konsa samay Uchit hai?

Doctor: Dopahar 2 se 4.

Lady: woh kyon?

Doctor: Compounder nahi hota iss liye.

Achi tarah Garam karna - SMS Adult

Achi tarah Garam karna

On honeymoon Night,
The groom lights up a match stick near wife's private.

Wife: Why did u do this?

Groom: Dosto ne kaha ki pehle achi tarah Garam karna.

Leaking Thermometer! - SMS Adult

Leaking Thermometer!

Boy: "Aunty, why was uncle lying on u last night?"

Aunty: "He was checking my Temperature."

Boy: "Did he get it right? I saw the Thermometer Leaking!"

Self service - SMS Adult

Self service

Why is sex to wife is similar to restaurant?

Some times good service
some times bad service
Some times no service
Some times Self service

Put Devil in Hell - SMS Adult

Put Devil in Hell

A girl asked a Guru 2 explain what is Devil, Hell & Heaven?

Guru replied: Between my 2 legs is Devil, between ur 2 legs is Hell, put Devil in Hell & You'll feel heaven.

Before and After SEX - SMS Adult

Before and After SEX

Wife undressed in bathroom & walked toward bed for sex and hit sum object.

Hsbnd rushed to her & askd: Oh honey! Chot to nahi lagi na?

After sex was over she hit the same thing again on way back to bathroom.

Hsbnd: Andhi hai kya? Dekh kar nahi chal sakti?

Take it with Banana - SMS Adult

Take it with Banana

A lady to doctor: I do not want children for a while to enjoy the life. What should I do?

Doctor: Well then take this condom?

Lady: Should I take this with milk or water?

Doctor: No, take it with Banana!

She is so innocent - SMS Adult

She is so innocent

Preeto Santa’s wife was going to her Parents and was packing the suitcase with need-full.

Santa goes to his friend Bantu and says, “She is so innocent and loving that she even takes the condoms with her for remembering me.”

3 wonders of a woman - SMS Adult

3 wonders of a woman

The 3 wonders of a woman

1) Gives milk without eating grass

2) Gets wet without water

3) Bleeds for a week without going 2 die.

Breast Implants and Viagra - SMS Adult

Breast Implants and Viagra

There is more Money being spent on Breast Implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with Perky Boobs and Huge Erections and Absolutely no Recollection of what to do with them!

Sex on alternate days - SMS Adult

Sex on alternate days

A baniya do sex alternate days:

His friend asks why not you do regularly.

Baniya Replies: Ke karen, ek din to condom sukhane me bhi lag jaave hai!

Ye matka kitne ka? - SMS Adult

Ye matka kitne ka?

A man with big Tummy go for walk in Lungi.

One girl jokingly ask: "Ye matka kitne ka?"

He lift lungi & says "Nul(Tap) ke saath 450 ka."

2 inches more, 2 inches less - SMS Adult

2 inches more, 2 inches less

A newly married man was standing in front of a mirror naked and was admiring his physique.

'2 inches more & I will be a king.'

Suddenly the wife comes in and says, '2 inches less and you will be a queen

Suck Blood of Ladies - SMS Adult

Suck Blood of Ladies

Man asks a wish to DEVIL. "Pls make me such a thing that i suck blood of all the beautiful women in this world".

Devil said "AMEEN" and Immediately man turned to CARE FREE ( Sanitary Napkin).

Free Sex with Petrol - SMS Adult

Free Sex with Petrol

Bania to petrol pump wala: Your scheme 'Free Sex with Petrol' is a fraud.

Pump wala: It's not fraud sir. Ask ur wife, she has already won 9 times.

No Smoking ka board - SMS Adult

No Smoking ka board

Man was smoking in a bus:

Conductor: No Smoking ka board nahin dikhta?

Man: Uske side mein 'Always Wear Condom' ka board hai, ab vo bhi laga ke baithoon?

Whistling Sound - SMS Adult

Whistling Sound

Why man does not make whistling sound while passing urine like woman?

.

.


Because He has 6 inch long SILENCER!

Sure while making Love - SMS Adult

Sure while making Love

How can you be that extra sure while making Love?

Simple..
Wear 2 condoms with red chilly powder in between them...
if the inner one bursts the male will know ,
if the outer one bursts the gal will know !-)

Business Failure - SMS Adult

Business Failure

Economics Teacher: Give example of "Complete business failure due to negligence"

Student: A pregnant prostitute